Day 106. Social Confidence.


Hello world!  Feels great saying that when I know how guarded and private I’ve always been.  It feels liberating and immensely satisfying to just get it out, off from my chest and shoulders and share with you all, all in the knowledge that at least a handful of you wonderful folk will either be able to relate, learn something new or share something to help with my personal recovery and even more importantly spreading the wealth of knowledge through out the world, of which, we now have 18 countries represented on this very page now.  It’s just amazing how fast this project has grown in such a short space of time.  I’m certainly filled with a lot of pride for every single one of you that have found your voice and pushed yourself to engage with us, you’re all incredible.


Wow, first day with the full squad on the case, this is going to be absolutely epic and I really think that we are not only walking down the righteous path, but we’re running with it faster than a Jamaican sprinter. Myself, Caroline, Charlie and Karen have a wealth of knowledge that you can tap for advice, direction or even just to vent if you need to and we know you need to, we ALL need to at some time or another and that is OK!  We’re human and not made of wood.  We aren’t infallible, in fact more fragile at times than most realise. 


A subject that has come up a couple of times this week during conversations with readers is ‘Social Confidence’.  This is something that I struggle with at times.  I have a habit of not going out and locking myself away, whilst I’m fully aware of what will happen if I do so.  It’s an extremely slippery slope down the flume of depression in to the guts of the blackest black.  But it’s the anxiety that keeps me in.  The anxiety, as I’ve written about before scares the absolute crap out of me which knocks my confidence in being out and around other people, especially now, living in a thriving seaside town during the school summer holidays.  The stuff of nightmares.  Here’s three powerful and positive mindsets that can help, they do help me but not every time.  Remember though, what works for one doesn’t always work for all but if you don’t try, how will you know?


No. 1

You ARE good enough!

A lot of people who lack social confidence don’t see themselves as good enough for others the way they are.  Many of them have a poor self-image or they suffer from an inferiority complex. As a result, they go into social settings expecting for others to not like them. So it’s only natural for them to feel anxious and not be very social.

But the truth is that almost every time, their belief that they’re not good enough is false. It’s something they came to believe for the wrong reasons, and it has little to do with reality. This is why it’s important to adopt the mindset that you are good enough.

When you’re in a social setting, try to think of yourself as good enough, and to hold this mindset. You’ll notice that you’ll be more relaxed and more social. And interestingly enough, if you think you’re good enough, others will tend to reach the same conclusion about you.

No. 2

The world IS a friendly place.

Another common trait for people who lack social confidence is the inclination to see the world as an unfriendly place. They think others are rude and unsympathetic, and they just want to exploit them or make fun of them. It’s no wonder that they often have no friends whatsoever, or just a couple of friends they’re not particularly fond of.

But for the most part, this assumption they have is untrue. They only think this way because they’ve just over-generalized from a few bad experiences with people, often without even realising it. There may be some mean people out there, but most people are actually friendly and eager to talk to others.

So it makes sense to adopt the mindset that the world is a friendly place. This will encourage you to be friendly with others, and typically they’ll respond in kind. This in turn will confirm that people are generally friendly, and it will make it even easier to be friendly yourself.

No. 3

Everything is a learning experience!

When you talk to people, you will make mistakes. You will say something inappropriate, you will be weird at times, or you won’t make that good of an impression. The most important mindset to adopt in order to keep going instead of withdrawing into your shell is that all of this is a learning experience.

Your social intelligence and social skills develop as you interact with others. Any mistake you make is an opportunity to learn and take your skills to the next level. And if you’re willing to go through a lot of learning, you can reach a skill level that few people ever reach.

This is why it’s crucial to think of any social interaction as a learning experience. Take the lessons you can from it and keep walking. As you learn and your social skills develop, so does your social confidence.

Adopt the right mindsets, and you can reach any degree of social confidence that  you want. And the more confident you are, the easier it is to build great relationships with people and have an amazing social life, of which I’m sure you’ll love.

Thank you for taking time from your day to read about my journey!  I have been working on a post for the last  month detailing an experiment that I’ve been working on.  It will literally have you glued to the screen reading and I’m not telling you which day I’ll be making it live on here, I will say this though, I’m going to be posting everyday this week so you’ll have to keep your eyes peeled to see when it turns up.

I just thought I’d let you know that you can now,  by all means post your favourite quotes to the page, post videos and written posts, so please utilise  it and spread the good word.  Share your knowledge, actually I’ll come up with a prize and run a competition, watch the page to find out details, they’ll be up tomorrow. I hope you all have a fabulous Sunday!  Much love!

Till next time….


Dan

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