Today I seem to have lost some motivation and positivity. This I think is due to the fact that the night terrors came to visit and that’s just something I can’t control, flashbacks in the day, if caught in time, I can prevent, but night time no. On 4 occasions I woke myself screaming/shouting, drenched in sweat and huddled in to the top corner where my bed meets the wall. It probably only happens half a dozen times a year now but leaves me terrified, shaking and completely drawn.
So, it’s had an affect on my mood as you’d expect, my challenge now is to not let it bring me down fully and try to push to gain back the lost ground. Every day there’s a new battle, this is today’s. If I allow it to keep a grip and bring me down I don’t know how long I’ll be there. The struggle to get out of the hole is hard, especially on your own but I’m learning and I’m not there yet. I have some things I’m going to try that may help reverse the downward spiral.
I’ve found out recently, that talking is awesome therapy, putting it out there. Whilst I’m speaking up on here, sometimes it takes a one to one chat with a mate to boost your confidence again so this is what I’m going to do. Have a chat with a friend, it always makes a difference, matter how long the conversation, I always come away smiling, positive, rejuvinated and motivated. Obviously it helps not to pick a friend who’s also having problems, they also may not like to hear your current issues and could impact their issues further.
The second is the latest tool adopted in my arsenal. The walk. Pushing myself to get out of bed, then get out in to the fresh air to find a quiet place to think and distract yourself taking in all of nature’s sights and sounds. It was suggested to me to sit by a running stream or body of water, the sounds are naturally calming and you can watch even the smallest of creatures going about their daily business.
Even though I’m not tip top, but not down yet, I’ve gone through my routine, making my bed first, then ablutions. I really don’t want to go out and the thought of bumping in to “people”, fills me with dread. But I’m not giving in, I’m fighting back!! Plus we all have to do things from time to time that we don’t want to. That’s life.
This is mental health awareness week! I’m going to challenge everybody here to one task. We all have that friend, acquaintance, family member that you may have noticed, who’s mood has dropped lately or noticed they’re struggling. Find half an hour this week, make them a cuppa, take them for coffee or even walk with them in your lunch break. Let them know that you’ve seen a change and it’s ok. Listen to them with out interuption and let them know you’ll be there to support them if they wish. That 30 minutes could save them from further decline, even stop them doing harmful things. I know this from experience, I have many scars to prove it.
Most of all, a smile costs nothing, be kind to each other and yourself!! That’s all for today,. I have my own battles about to start. Catch you next time. Much love!
Till tomorrow folks