Day 43. Not too bad.

I woke this morning with still a slightly foggy head, but as the day has progressed, I’ve increasingly shaken Cujo off and slammed him back in his box. He’s and escape expert though so still on guard waiting for his return. This is another great personal success for me. Any time I get myself out of the ditch is an achievement and should be treated as such. Don’t let my positivity fool you though, this time two days ago it was the end of the world inside my head, any human brave enough to get near would have been eaten whole. This is the difference between the two mindsets, it’s almost impossible to find a well balanced middle ground. Which is where I strive to be.

Lessons that I’ve learned from this mood malfunction include writing things down, a journal, or in my case now a blog, is an important tool. I’ve found it invaluable being able to look back at past accomplishments and failures. It helps me focus and remember things I’d otherwise forgotten. Again, I know I bang on about this sorry, but find your you time, even if it’s only 5 minutes to go and get some deep breaths, think about your day or circumstances. Put it in your diary, allocate the time, again if only 5 mins, you’d write everything else in there, even your shopping list so why not include your personal time too.

I’m happy to say that my morning routine IS now HABIT. Even though I’d slid to the pool of doom, I still did those all important small achievements but now it’s without thinking. It’s very hard giving yourself habits but doing the same thing over and over eventually just happens without thought. Everything with recovery takes time, patience and at times a lot of repetition.

I’ve picked up my sleepers again. Like I mentioned, I’m not happy about it but I have to do something now, not leave it until sleep deprivation kicks in and end up on antipsychotics for hallucinations again. It wasn’t pleasant the last 4 times and I find the meds completely take away your mojo, nothing, nada, not even a morning handshake.

Ok I’ve rambled enough for today but I’d like to leave you with a thought…..

No matter what your fight is, or who with, your battles will stop the second you walk away, it’s only you keeping it at the forefront.

As always please interact in some way with the page, like, share or even your valued comments. Keep the PM’s coming too!! I’ve met some awesome people on this journey, to the point I almost like humans again!

Take your personal time! Much love!

Till tomorrow folks



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