Day 42. Winning this particular battle!

Trying to remember everything I’ve learned so far to utilise, to help me pull myself out of the bottomless pit has been helped by rereading my posts on here. The lessons that I’ve learned both good and bad are now etched in time and ready to be referred to. So, I’m approximately 50 hours in to this particular trip down in to the depths of the no hope abyss and I have to say that I’m ok, I’m being productive, been out, daily habits on track. I’m not 100% yet but things are working. Going for that walk where you feel your mood change by the minute, works! Keeping yourself distracted, works! Writing things down, works! All of these plus many more together help me back up on to my feet. Individually maybe not so affective but in conjunction, it makes for a good recipe for invaluable tools to help get back on track. Like I said, I’m not 100% but it doesn’t just just happen, time and patience are important, it’s not an exact science and there’s no quick fix or magic pill.

As I said I’ve been productive. Sorted all my admin, washing, been for a walk, done my house chores, cleaned my room and bedding plus loads more. I find that once I get started I can’t really stop, which is great in the fact it’s taking my mind away from the crap that’s been trying to dominate. Sometimes though, you have to give yourself a break, I did it yesterday. YOU time is important, self appraisal is important, even just half an hour a day alone can make all the difference to your well-being in general. I’m still struggling with the night terrors, although not as bad to be honest. But it’s still playing havoc with my sleep so I’m giving in, I’m going back on to Clonazapam and Melatonin mix. It works for me but I really didn’t want to have to do it. I’m not a big fan of medication, after all I take a variety of approximately 15 different types.

I’m almost back up which is great. Will it be tomorrow or the weekend? Who knows but I have to be patient and just keep practicing my coping strategies and sharpening my tools! Thanks for reading and if you could interact with the page in some way, like, share, comment, it would be awesome. Helps me keep on top of numbers. All of your PMs help me a lot with motivation but most importantly, a couple of you have benefited from a one to one chat so it makes it all worth while! Much love!

Till next time folks.


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